He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
