I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
