im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize