All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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