The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
