I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
