i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
In America we eat man semen.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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