i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
