she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
