I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
