Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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