Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
