Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we're making bets on your personal life
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
