sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize