So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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