he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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