I just pynch a tree in the face
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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