Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
