Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize