Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
