i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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