Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize