Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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