I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I lost the right to judge tonight
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
