final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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