LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
