Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
only if we run a train.
done.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize