he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
