my vag is so smooth its legendary
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
