is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
