I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
