when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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