I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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