Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
