Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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