I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
