And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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