Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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