Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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