ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
