dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
