youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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