yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
