I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
