So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
