just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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