I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
