I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
and she was petting her beer can
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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