i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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