Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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