Whod you bang
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
