i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
