My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
