No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
