Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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